Yes, you read it right!

Spunky Sperm!

Sally Sperm

Spunky Sperm’s a pleasant guy,
He’s really very nice,
Despite the fact he had a rather
Tricky start to life!

He came out of a whatsit,
Look I can’t be too explicit,
But if you don’t know what I mean,
You really should get with it!

His purpose was to procreate,
Like any of his breed,
He was not there to have a life,
He was meant to be a seed!

But fate had other plans in mind,
And when the pack released,
Spunky fell back from the crowd,
Escaped and headed east.

And so young Spunky, all alone,
Alive and fully grown,
Set about the world that day,
To start a life alone.

And yet, despite that solitude,
So rare among his kind,
He really has developed
Quite a social type of mind.

If you ever come across
Young Spunky in the street,
You’ll see yourself, there’s really not
A nicer sperm to meet!

You can pick up Spunky Sperm from here.

You can get Sally Sperm from here!

Also available at the store in world.

So, let’s tell you about this little guy then!

Once upon a pixel time,
Imagine, if you would,
A blinged up, cartoon gangster
In a real tough pixel ‘hood.

He was tough as tough could be,
With chains and pixel rings,
You’d see him from ten miles away
With all that bloody bling!

But one thing was causing problems for
This blinged up ghetto brother,
One thing that made him stand right out
From every single other…

He wanted to be hard as nails,
Top dog and feared by all…
But it’s hard to be so fearsome
When you’re less than three feet tall!

The other brothers laughed at him,
The sisters weren’t so keen,
Midget gangstas never got to date
The ghetto queen!

He wondered what he ought to do,
To make the others fear him,
He wanted them to run away
As soon as they got near him!

And then one day, quite suddenly,
His answer came to mind!
He’d simply go and get more bling
And make the others blind!

And he can be yours to own! Go round the grid in ghetto style with this tiny cartoon gangsta avatar. 0.8m tall and comes with a sounds and animations HUD.

Visit Screwball in world on our very own cartoon sim by clicking here.

You can pick the avie up there or from XStreetSL by clicking here.

Also available in blue.

Once upon a pixel field,
A very different cow!
Who walked and stood and ran around,
On two hind legs, somehow.

She thought she was a human,
So the farmer sat her down,
And said the time had come for her
To stop clowning around.

“You really are a cow,” he said.
“Use four legs, not just two!
Eat the grass and stand around
And do what cows should do!”

The farmer came to milk her,
But she stood upright in that place,
And she loaded up her udders
And shot milk right in his face!

In some pixel forest,
On some pixel sim somewhere,
Was a tiny little blue man,
And all he did was hang out there.

Some said he looked just like a Smurf,
But what was rather strange,
Was the fact he did not act like one.
Some thought he was deranged!

He hung around that forest,
Dressed in black from toe to head,
He’d say odd things to people
But much worse than what he said…

Was the way he’d wait any girls,
Princesses or cleaners,
Then he’d pull his pixel coat aside
And show them all his weener!!!

There was a little fella
Born and raised upon that turf,
Inhabited by those folk
That we probably know as Smurfs.

Indeed he was a true Smurf,
Born and bred, right through and through,
But one day something happened
And I swear, this story’s true!

He was listening to the radio
When on came this brand new band,
They had drums, guitars and screaming girls,
Oh my, they sounded grand.

He felt a sudden desperate urge,
To take off his pure white hat,
And swap it for a mohawk,
Well, the Smurfs did not like that!

They told him he must stop this,
That a Smurf had to behave,
That mohawk’s weren’t for Smurf folk,
Nor were rock n’ roll n’ raves!

He picked his new guitar up
And he landed them a shocker,
When he walked out of the village,
Singing ‘I’m a Smurfy rocker.’

Once upon a pixel time,
In outer pixel space,
Was the smallest little alien,
With the cutest smiley face.

With big green ears and cheesy grin,
And mini hands and feet,
He was the shortest little alien
That you would ever meet.

All the other aliens,
Were gobsmacked at this sight,
Was he really one of them
With such a lack of height?

One day one of them said to him,
‘Please listen and be true,
How is it you’re so small?
What sort of thing are you?’

‘I really am an alien,’
The little guy replied,
‘But I do have a confession,’
And he looked ahead and sighed.

‘My Mother was an Alien,’
Born upon this very turf.
But, the truth is, I’m the love child,
Of the famous Papa Smurf.’

There was a little devil
With a big smile on his face,
Whose lack of evil wishes
Made him very out of place.

He went to school for Devils
Where they tried to make him mean,
They tried to make him evil
But the fella wasn’t keen!

They tried to stop him smiling,
But whenever he was seen,
He was certain to be beaming
With his big, wide cheesy grin.

His teacher kept him back one day,
And asked, ‘Why don’t you yearn,
To be evil like the others.
You won’t even try to learn.’

He said, ‘I do not wish to be
An awful, evil brute.
The reason is, that I have learnt,
The chicks prefer us cute!’

Pumpkin Head was mean and fierce,
At least that’s what he thought,
He tried to do the scary things,
His monster class had taught.

He hid beneath the children’s beds
And jumped out late at night,
He’d scream and shout and try so hard
To give these kids a fright.

But every time he tried it,
All the children ever  said,
Was “Wow, check this! A mini guy
With a pumpkin for a head!”

His heart had sank, he felt so low,
‘I don’t know what to do,’ he sighed.
He sat next to a little girl,
And sobbed and wept and cried.

‘I’m trying to be scary,
But you all think I am cute.
How can I be different?
I’m supposed to be a brute!’

‘Don’t cry,’ the child replied to him,
‘You are different,’ she said.
I don’t know of any other
Mini pumpkin heads!

‘But what’s my role in life?’ he asked,
If I cannot give a fright?’
‘With that candle in your head,’ she laughed,
‘You’d make a great night light!’

There was a little witch,
Who was much prettier than most,
Every dead thing fancied her,
The monsters, vampires, ghosts…

With long hair oh so elegant,
And complexion oh so green,
She had but just one tiny flaw…
This witch could not be mean!

She didn’t want to scare people,
She lacked that evil thirst,
She thought people were for cuddling
And should NEVER be cursed

She didn’t have a broom on which
She’d zoom across the sky,
She took the bus, or caught a cab,
She did not ever fly!

She did have her own cauldren though,
But here is something new!
It wasn’t filled with evil,
It was filled with chicken stew!!

A Vampire Unlike Any Other!

There was a mini vampire,
Who was unlike all the rest.
He wasn’t very scary
Though he really tried his best.

For a start, he was so tiny,
Really needed a growth spurt,
And he didn’t want to bite folk
And he didn’t want to hurt.

He didn’t want to go around,
Chomping people dead,
When asked about his favourite meal,
Said chips and garlic bread!

He didn’t cower from a crucifix,
He wasn’t scared of light,
He had no blood around his mouth
His skin was not pale white.

When asked what on this Earth he was
By all the vampire gangs,
He’d say, ‘I’m a little purple smiley guy
Who came equipped with fangs!’